Finding a therapist should feel grounding, not like trying to work out whether someone is actually trained to support you. The online world is brilliant for finding help, but it also means anyone can create a website and claim to be a therapist, healer or expert. Some people genuinely know their stuff. Some don’t. And some mean well but have no idea how much harm they can unintentionally cause.
So how do you figure out who’s properly qualified, who isn’t, and who you might want to politely back away from?
Here’s what actually matters.
Look at their training
A legit therapist will tell you exactly what they studied, where they studied it and at what level. They’ll usually list things like a diploma, degree or postgraduate qualification, along with any specialist training.
If their “training” sounds like a collection of retreats, your first question should be: where is the formal qualification?
It’s also important to say that this isn’t about dismissing people who haven’t come through formal training routes. Plenty of educators, coaches and peer supporters do incredible work, especially around pleasure, communication and body confidence.
Lived experience can be powerful. The key thing is recognising where the limits are.
When you start exploring complex trauma, mental health, sexual function or long-term relational patterns, you’re stepping into territory that really does require clinical training to keep you safe. It’s not about mistrusting everyone without a diploma. It’s about being mindful of who you turn to for what, so you’re getting the right kind of support for the depth of the issue.
Check their professional registration
Qualified psychosexual and relationship therapists are registered with a recognised body. These are COSRT, BACP, UKCP in the UK which means they follow a code of ethics, work safely, maintain supervision and do ongoing training.
If you can’t find a single mention of a regulatory body, that’s a reason to pause and investigate further.
Expect clear boundaries
A qualified therapist will never offer sexual touch, erotic massage, yoni healing, lingam work or anything involving genital contact. Psychosexual therapy is a talking therapy. Your therapist helps you explore, understand and reclaim your sexual wellbeing through conversation, reflection and evidence-based work.
If someone suggests “hands-on work” as part of therapy, you’re not in psychosexual therapy.
Hands-on work can absolutely be valid in certain settings, like sensual skills coaching or body-based education, but it’s not part of psychosexual therapy. COSRT (the governing body recognised by the NHS in the UK) is very clear that therapy itself is a talking process, not a touch-based one, so it’s important to know which kind of service you’re choosing and what its boundaries are meant to be.
Pay attention to how they communicate
Legitimate therapists don’t make wild promises. They won’t claim they can “heal your trauma in one session” or “fix your sexuality permanently”. They’ll talk about the process, your goals, and how therapy might help. They’ll explain things clearly, answer your questions openly and avoid anything that sounds like pressure or sales tactics.
Go with your instincts, but always check the facts
You’re allowed to ask questions. You’re allowed to say, “Can you tell me a bit more about your qualifications?” You’re allowed to choose someone else. The right therapist won’t be defensive about their training or boundaries.
If you want a safe place to start, the Cliterally Sex Positive Directory is curated to highlight people who are trained, ethical and transparent. You deserve support you can trust.
