Finding out you have an STI can feel scary. You might be worrying about how you got it, who you might have passed it on to, and how on earth you're supposed to bring it up with the people you've slept with. Take a breath. Chlamydia is the most common STIs, it's easily treated with antibiotics, and telling your partners, while awkward, is one of the most genuinely kind things you can do. Here's how to do it.
First - who actually needs to know?
As a general rule, anyone you've had sex with in the last six months should be told. If you haven't had a sexual partner in the last six months, go back to your most recent one. If you did have symptoms - like discharge or discomfort - the timeframe may be slightly different, so your sexual health clinic can help you work out exactly who to contact based on your situation. This is something they deal with every single day, so don't be embarrassed to ask.
Why it matters
Chlamydia often has no symptoms at all. Someone you slept with months ago could have it right now and have no idea. Left untreated, chlamydia can cause complications including pelvic inflammatory disease, chronic pelvic pain, and in rare cases, fertility problems. Telling your partners gives them the chance to get tested and treated before that happens.
How to actually have the conversation
For a current partner, in person is usually best if you feel safe doing so. Keep it straightforward - something like "I've just been diagnosed with chlamydia and wanted to tell you straight away so you can get tested too. It's really easy to treat." You don't need to launch into a big discussion about where it came from.
For an ex or a more casual partner, a text is completely fine. A simple message works well: "Hey, I wanted to let you know I've just found out I have chlamydia. I think it's worth you getting tested - it's easily treated. Sorry for the awkward message." Short, clear and kind is the goal! You're not confessing to a crime.
What if I really can't face it?
If the idea of telling a partner yourself feels hard - maybe it's an ex you're not on good terms with or you're worried about your safety - there are other options. Sexual health clinics in the UK offer a free partner notification service where a healthcare worker contacts your partners on your behalf, without revealing your identity or the name of the clinic. They won't be told who gave them the information, only that they should get tested. Ask your clinic about it.
What happens next
Chlamydia is treated with a course of tablet antibiotics. You should avoid all sexual contact until you've completed the full course.
The bottom line
Telling your partners that you have chlamydia is uncomfortable for about five minutes. Not telling them can affect their health for years. You didn't do anything wrong by getting chlamydia - it's just something that can happen when people have sex - and telling the people you need to tell is the responsible, decent thing to do. Most people, when they receive that message, will be grateful rather than angry. And if they're not, that says more about them than it does about you.
