What it is + why it’s so important.
What Is Sexual Consent?
Sexual consent is when someone actively agrees to be sexual with someone.
Consent lets someone know that sex is wanted and can be withdrawn at any point.
Consent isn’t what we wear or where we go, it is an enthusiastic yes.
Any sexual activity without consent is rape or sexual assault – not just penetrative sex (Including stealthing).
You always get the final say over what happens to your body, it doesn’t matter if you’ve slept together before or are even married, your partner must respect this and vice versa.
There are laws surrounding consent. People who are under the influence (drugs or alcohol) cannot consent to sex.
Anyone under the age of 16 cannot legally consent. Different countries have different ages of consent.
No Means No, But So Does...
No is definitely not consent but the following phrases or anything along those lines is also no. Remember, if it’s not an enthusiastic yes, it’s not consent.
“I’m not sure”
“Maybe later”
“Let’s just chill”
“I don’t like that”
“I’ve changed my mind”
“Not today”
“I don’t feel comfortable with this”
“I don’t know”
“Maybe we should wait”
“Stop”
“Anyone can be a victim, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, or age” – Planned Parenthood
Consent Can Be Sexy!
Asking for consent doesn’t have to be a mood killer or done in a serious, clinical way – consent can be sexy and super hot!
♡ “Can I touch you here?”
♡ “Can we try it like this?”
♡ “Do you want me to stop?”
♡ “Can I kiss you here?”
♡ “Does this feel good?”
♡ “Can I take them off”
♡ “Tell me what you want me to do to you?”
♡ “How would you feel if I did this?”
♡ “Do you like it when I touch you there?”
Remember: It's hot but it's also mandatory and the bare minimum, not a sexy addition.
What is 'Coercion'?
Coercion is when someone pressures you into sexual activities with them.
It can present itself in many different ways, sometimes it's really obvious, "if you don't have sex with me, I will break up with you", but sometimes it's more subtle, "Come on, we haven't had sex in ages, I will be quick".
Either way it is when someone doesn't accept your 'no' and continues to try and persuade you to change your mind. This is not consent.
What Can I do If I've Been Sexually Assaulted?
If you have been sexually assaulted please remember it is not your fault, ever, no matter the situation.
If you need/want to speak to someone, some great helplines are below...
